My reality seems to have fallen apart. Things were going very well, and I was even enjoying myself and life. However, recently I have lost many of the things that were giving me hope and pleasure for a new, better future as well as a new, better present. Now I feel lonely, rejected, and sad. I do not even possess the strength of will to fight this falling apart. Where did I go wrong, and what can I do to get back to where I was?
Response from Hermes:
In a serial reality it is impossible to get back to where you were. So the second part of your question I will address later. Let's answer the first part of your question first: "Where did I (or you) go wrong?"
It is not that you went wrong in any one place. Rather, your reality creating has fallen victim to conflict. You see! You rarely create your reality in any one area. You, instead, create your reality on multiple fronts, all at the same time. Oh! Of course there are those instances when you single out one aspect and concentrate on that one aspect for a time, but even when you narrow your reality creating, there is still a part of you that controls and continues your other creations.
Now, there is nothing wrong with multi-reality creating. However, where the problem occurs is when your multiple creations grow to a point that they begin choking each other. Your reality, at this time, is experiencing this choking. Your multiple creations have grown to a point where they are conflicting with each other. For any of these creations to grow further, you will have to alter or remove some of your creations. This effect, of which you are experiencing, is quite common for you at this stage in your evolution. Where you have gone astray is in the preplanning of your reality. You failed to take into account that some of your creations would conflict, once they grew beyond a certain point. Had you realized, at the start, that these things would conflict, you would have adjusted your creations accordingly.
So what you now have is all of your creations stagnating. Your reality is at a stand still and unconsciously you are aware of this. This unconscious awareness translates to the uneasiness, restlessness, and dread that you are feeling. Furthermore, unconsciously you know that you must change and or remove certain aspects from your reality, in order for your reality to begin moving again. As you know, you are the one that must decide which of these aspects you wish to keep and which of the ones you will discard. Being that you are fond of all of these aspects, the choosing is not so easy. Your feelings are involved and feelings can be very powerful and sometimes a distraction.
Your dreams and astral projections, at this time, are excellent guides to the areas in your life that are in conflict. These dreams and projections also contain clues as to what you need to keep and what you should discard. For, as you know, knowing what to discard and what to keep can be important. If you decide to keep an aspect that you do not desire or an aspect that cannot take you very far, your reality will stagnate even more. However, in your case, your conflicts are due to more in the way of timing then of anything else. You can materialize all those aspects you desire; it is just that you can not materialize them all at the same time. You must put some of them on the back burner.
If you use your dream and projection data effectively, you will discover what you need to put on hold and what you need to continue creating. Then, go about your reality creating and watch your dreams and projections. They will indicate when it will be possible to add those other aspects and when these aspects will not conflict with your present reality creating. So, in this instance, I have shown you where you have gone wrong and a way, in time, for you to get back to where you were, so to speak.
In the future, you can reduce this conflict-by-growth by meditating, individually, on the multiple aspects of your life, before you begin to create them. Project yourself into the future of each one and see how you fit. Now take these multiple futures and put them together. If you find that you cannot smoothly blend these multiple creations together, then you are in danger of reaching a conflict, somewhere along the way. Try to put aside the conflicting ones and only actively create those aspects that do not conflict with each. Then monitor your progress in dreams, projections, and meditations to see when you may be able to add those other things you had to previously put on the back burner.
Your dreams tend to reflect the more emotionally charged aspects of your reality creating. If you wish to project a particular aspect forward and that aspect is not emotionally charged at present, you will need to use the meditation method given above, which is why I mentioned both. Because your reality, at present, is at a crash point, all the aspects in your life are emotionally charged and all of your dreams indicate this charged nature and offer you the insight you need break free of your conflicts and move forward once more.
And to answer that unconscious question in your mind, which is connected to how you are feeling right now: You and your reality are dying. Life is made up of many deaths. When a life crisis is reached, as you are now faced with, because of the total shutdown and reality-creation conflict going on, you die. The personality responsible for the reality creating many times is not strong enough to move forward. That personality must die and a new personality must be born. The new personality will possess the strengths of the previous one and lack the weaknesses. The new personality will also possess what your consciousness needs to continue with your reality creating.
Physical death is a personality change of a different order and period. There is a longer duration involved between births when physical death occurs. You perceive this as a death. However, in larger terms there is no difference between the physical death of the body and the psychological death of the personality. With the physical death, a body change on a molecular level occurs. With a personality death, the change is merely mental and or emotional.
It is at these times, when the personality dies, that the individual comes face to face with the idea of death. It is a way for the personality to explore death, without actually going through the death process. This is useful to consciousness when such an experience can help the individual to grow further then would otherwise be possible, without the need to be reborn or go through adolescence. It is a tool used by consciousness to enable the continuation of growth within a lifetime that still possesses fertile ground for development. However, once all the fertile ground for growth and development end, the lifetime will be terminated, either by the individual, on an unconscious or conscious level, or by the Soul of the individual. There is little point to the continuation of a lifetime when little is to be gained, either personally or by others. In either case, the personality is aware and gives consent ahead of time, for the termination of its physical body and lifetime.
And speaking of terminations, this is a good place to terminate this lesson, so that a new lesson can be born. You see! Lessons have births and deaths too. These aspects of the universe are universal and not merely restricted to sentient beings -- but whose to say that these lessons aren't sentient!