Heartache and Relationship Breakups

July 2, 2009 (letter of the month)

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Dear Hermes:
Last month I recovered from an enormous heartache that had lasted for almost two years. Before this crisis, I had been feeling a lowering of consciousness and egotism for some time after decades of selfless living in ideals of love. The lowering of consciousness dropped to a very low level of vibration when I became very sick and the heartache ensued. The pain was so great (not quite physical) for so many months that I could not tell where it was coming from, except that I had entirely disassociated from everyone that had been part of my previous existence. I learnt that it was not only grief, but hatred and disgust. Finally, I recovered recently this year during a mediation on the Earth and Water Chakras, and awakened to be far more humble, centered, circumspect and rather blissful. I feel my old love for all has returned unrepressed, and that it is easy to live and take every moment as it comes. Because of the unusual nature of the heartache, so localized around my chest, which I could feel even when I was laughing with friends. I have the feeling that perhaps I should do something else with the experience. There is still an air of it left. The people I told about it while still suffering from it were all rather surprised (and so was I at the beginning), which tells me that it is usual. How can I explain this strangeness? Has no-one else felt something so enormous on the chest area? More importantly, how do I continue growing from now on? X

Hi X!
Relationships can be very powerful things, but not because of all the reasons you think. Most relationships are co-dependent relationships. What happens in a co-dependent relationship, from a energy point of view, is the establishment of strands of energy connecting the heart chakra from one person to another. In effect you get two people who's energies are interconnected between each other. Over time this connection gets stronger and eventually becomes a living part of each individual for divine love and connection to spirit and the rest of humanity. Incorrectly what happens is each of you use the other to facilitate a connection you once made on your own.

Now this is all well and good until the relationship breaks up or dissolves. Now the energy threads, from one heart chakra to the other, are severed, usually most severely and abruptly and without warning. The place now where you relied on for this emotional connection, to not only the other person but the earth itself, is gone. This causes the heartache syndrome that is so much associated with a break up.

When this heartache happens you no longer have the connection to spirit flowing into you so readily because you are expecting it to come from a source that is no longer there. It takes time and patience and healing to reconnect with your emotional/spiritual source again back through yourself. When this happens you begin to feel whole again and can now more easily interact with others. This reconnection can take weeks, months, or years depending on how much you relied on the connection and how reluctant you are to reconnect with your divine nature through your own being. Many people just want to rush back into a relationship to create a new connection and, while that would work, it does not teach you to make this spiritual/emotional connection on your own. That just dooms you to go from one heartache to another as you move from one new relationship to another.

Sending love to the heart chakra can help greatly in this spiritual reconnection process. You imagine love and being loved and this energy going into the heart to reconnect your spiritual energies back to your own source. You can also use the OLAP healers to help with this process. You can also just wait and be patient as time heals all wounds even the deep emotional ones.

The more spiritually sensitive people that are around today have a harder time with dissolving relationships and heartache. They are not really built for such a hard knock to their system. They are usually gentle people who love completely and only want the best for themselves and others. These people take a breakup the hardest and spend the longest time recovering from these things.

Light, Peace

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